so.. the wisdom teeth are out of my mouth..... and on my nightstand!! ha
maybe the tooth fairy will come!!!!... but I highly doubt it. hmm

Well, vicodin, some other pain killer + antibiotic... these next few days should be fun- but I should probably not take them if I intend to continue reading for my Dev Psych class.. uh-oh...
Pain? Yes. Is it managable? Hell Yes. Especially with these meds... what to do, what to do!?

Today, I will take the day off.. I am quite sleepy. And loopy. And hungry, but too chicken to try and eat anything. I did have a few noodles of some extremely mooshy mac and cheese. The doctor recommended I eat that before taking any meds, alas- I tried.

hmmmmmm.. look at those culprits!

  I'm really sick of not sleeping....

... actually fell asleep shortly after midnight, then woke up at 2 and stayed awake for an hour or so.. then at 4:30, I'm wide awake, thus writing this pointless entree at 5:30.. duh! what is worse, is that this last time I woke up I went right for the kitchen. I've eaten a couple sunflower seeds, a handfull of grapes, piece of buttered bread-- now, as the grapes aren't so bad, the bread may not have been the smartest idea. I'll never lose weight at this rate. I do well during the day- it's during the wee hours of the morning where I ruin everything.

Well, beings I have nothing useful to say- perhaps I'll fill out a survey.. all the cool kids do it!
Oh, I also designed a tattoo I would like to get.. I thought my foot would be sweet but I'm not exactly sure where I want it...

(I took the original design of this, added red outlines to part of it.. added the "Music Heals" in a Jazz Font.. and alas, here is what I want.. of course, it won't be this large.. but- this is it)

Ready to spill your guts?
Sure

Where are you?
Bedroom

Who are you texting?
No one.

What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
Water.

Are you in a good mood?
I'm pretty annoyed, actually.

Do you believe in true love?
Yes.

Do you like to wear sweatpants?
Yeah, they're incredibly comfortable.

Are you wearing them right now?
I'm wearing my valentines day boxers. ha.

Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
Not exactly.

Have you lost friends in the past year?
I'm sure. But to be drastic, this past year being this past July to current July, yes, I definitely did. Visited her grave and everything. ugh.

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
blue?

How is your hair?
messed up

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Not really.

What do you usually do first in the morning?
Check my email

What do you think about the weather?
It's annoying. Rain is good, but this much storming is awful.

Are you ticklish?
PURPLE!

What is your natural hair color?
Dirty blonde.

Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
Indeed.

What's your favorite smell?
hmm.

What are you thinking about right now?
How nice it would be if I slept more then 3 hours last night.

Do you wear eyeliner?
Not very often.

When was the last time you really smiled?
During my softball game yesterday

Did you go to sleep last night smiling?
Eh.

Who's car were you in last?
My own.

How many cigarettes have you smoked today?
Zero.

Do you currently have a hickey?
haha.

What Jewlery are you wearing?
Rings!

Are you a heavy sleeper?
Nah.

Where does most of your family live?
Surrounding area from where I live

Have you ever slapped someone?
Probably.. not in an awful way, though!

How many people do you trust with everything?
1, possibly'ish 2

Whats so special about what your wearing?
Absolutely nothing

Ever felt like you're not good enough?
a lot of the time

What was the last thing you drank?
Water.

Who is the last person you got in a yelling fight with?
sigh

Have you ever walked on the beach at night?
A boardwalk, not necessarily the beach in the sand or anything, I would love to!

Anything you would change about your life right now?
My weight. My weight. And distance!

What did you do today and what are you doing later?
Took Nana to the doctor, went to breakfast with her. Took a nap. Got ready for another softball game. Went to my game. Stopped at my aunt and uncles house. Went to Lowes. Came home. Talked on the phone. Went to bed.


Do you think two people can last forever?
Oh, they will.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
Does my little couin count? haha.


Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and isn't around now?
Yes.

What do you do when you're having a bad day?
Try to sleep it off, sometimes I write.. crying is good- but doesnt happen often.

Was this new years enjoyable?
Definitely.

When you're sick or sad, do you want to be alone or do you want someone?
Depends.

Do you care if people talk badly about you?
Yeah.


Do you get jealous easily?
Eh, depends

Are you afraid to tell your true feelings?
Sometimes.

Would you rather text or IM?
Eh, again- it depends.

Is there anyone you want to come see you?
Yes! I wouldn't mind going to see them, either.

What do you look forward to in the next 8 months?
finishing up another year of college.. well, sort of looking forward to my end of it, but....

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night?
HELL NO.

Have you ever thrown your cell phone in anger?
Probably.

Are you self- conscious?
A lot of the times, yes.

When was the last time you saw the second person on your top?
Who is my second person on the top?

Who would be the first person to know if you got pregnant?
hahahahahhaha.

When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
not sure

Do you write notes on your body?
nah

What did you do yesterday?
I don't know... then again, I guess yesterday was the today I mentioned earlier in this survey..

Is there something you're looking forward to this month?
Not at all.

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance?
Ick, no.

What do you think of short hair?
I wish it looked better on me!

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
About 2 hours away from here.

When was the last time you cried from laughing so hard and why?
It's been a while.

Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground & carry you?
I weigh too much for that, but thanks.

When was the last time you cried?
Few days ago.

Where is your phone?
Next to me.

Is there something from your past that you really hate talking about?
Yes. Duh. Something= A lot of things, actually.

tryin to go to back to bed on a happy note.......
i had been sleeping, but i've been up for about an hour and can't fall back asleep.. agh

it doesn't get any better than this........
LOVE 

“I answer the heroic question, ‘Death where is the sting?’
with ‘It’s here in my heart and mind and memories.”

and so, I crash.

edit/4pm: huge breakdown much? nothing like bawling and clinching on to a pillow for 2 hours... however, I'd like to say I survived it..
I made two phone calls, only let it ring once before hanging up... I'm sure it didn't even show up as a missed call...
duh.. I'm in a slump, I know that for sure.. but it's just a slump, right? It'll get better. It has to. Because I can't do it like this.. not happening.

Revisiting Dr. Karper at LVH in a week... we'll see how that goes

So, a lot has happened since a month ago when I last posted.....

Finals week, obviously over.... what do you know, it didn't kick my ass too badly! I survived, and made deans list. In between finals week, I went up to NYC on a bus trip my aunt runs.. ate lunch with the family, and then enjoyed a nice day, even though my BFF was feeling sickly. We managed to have a great time- and totally enjoyed seeing AVENUE Q for her 21st birthday!! It was an awesome show..

Well.. that weekend was nice- but at the end of that final week of tests, I totalled my car. That was a huge stress and inconvenience. I was okay.. spent almost 6 hours in the ER to find out it was a "deep contusion" and "torn cartilage" in my right knee from the dash board coming in at me... no surprise- but it needed to be checked. The second I got out of the ER, I worked my way quickly over to a chamber singers performance which I arrived promptly for at 7:30pm, the exact start of the performance... way to go!

The chamber singers northeast tour was actually a great experience, though I can honestly admit to dreading the experience entirely. We had really great performances, truly the best we've done. And the time free time we spent in NYC, Boston, New Haven, and Six Flags New England was real nice.. I had a pretty good time, really appreciating the bonding time I had with... the director? ha. But, it was nice to be able to talk to someone about whatever the hell and feel comfortable in doing so..  There aren't many people in my life like that, so it was nice. It goes without saying that I appreciate those couple of people very much...

So, by the time I returned from the chamber singers tour my first summer session of classes has begun. I'm currently struggling my way through Philosophy and Womens Literature, both online through the community college here. I'll have a week off in between sessions, which I will then begin Developmental Psychology, which is also online.

I bought a new car. It's a brand new 2008 Kia Rondo. It's fully loaded, every bell and whistle imaginable. Leather, heated seats... Ipod.. sunroof.. power everything.. hopefully I can hold onto this one for quite a long time..